"Suffer In Silence" was a record that was originally intended to be on my forthcoming album, “I'm Tired of Being Hypersurveilled", but I chose to take it off because I felt like this song stood better alone.

Being a first generation Ethiopian-Eritrean growing up in Takoma Park, MD, it was normal to not speak much on the things we dealt with internally; whether it's due to not wanting to burden anyone, not wanting to be labeled with any stigma, not wanting to appear weak, or simply not having anyone to talk to. We don't say what is wrong, until it is way too late. We hold back on saying what we want, or the way we would like things to be. I used to suffer with substance abuse and suicidal thoughts issues trying to suppress myself in a world where everyone was taught to be afraid of me. It forced me to shrink in rooms I was very deserving to be in but felt the need to make others comfortable by being a lesser version of myself. This is after years of trauma dealing with adversity in many shapes and forms; some of which stem from street life and the over-policing of my community. I experienced a lot of racial profiling, being dragged by my dreads in the street and beaten, had a knee on my neck with a dislocated shoulder, illegal police break-ins into my home with no warrant, guns drawn at me on several occasions, and more - all while just trying to exist.

Feeling sad or numb doesn't mean that you are a weak person; matter of fact, it makes you more human if anything. Unfortunately, many people are unable to cope up with mental illnesses such as depression & anxiety (which I still deal with on/off) because they are scared or embarrassed to get the help that they need. In my culture these issues are things I hope to normalize speaking up about. I think it comes from the generational trauma of being under oppressive governments that made speaking up the most dangerous thing anyone could do - in both Ethiopia & America.

Through this journey of speaking up about my issues, unapologetically sharing my truths, and having these conversations, I found a deeper appreciation for life, more self love, and a heightened sense of gratitude in what already IS rather than stressing about stuff that ISN'T. May this song be a reminder that we aren't defined by our adversity, but by how we deal with that adversity; whether we let it block our path or push on through. No one should have to suffer in silence. Just know that you are more than enough.